Too clever to be mentally ill

A place of musing, and sadness, and reflection, all interspersed with moments of sheer and pure joy, but with an ever-present undercurrent of loneliness, for at the end of the day, all I want is to be wanted.


Ask me anything  
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. Joseph Baretti
Reblogged from dilke

Incidentally, I’ll probably text posting a lot more after a certain blog unfollows me, and I can change my URL to regain some privacy. So, if you like my rants (& those occasional times when I write something that’s not a musing or outburst of anger at the world - indeed, something approaching a short story or a dreadful poem), then congratulations! Alternatively, if you just follow me because of the things I reblog, commiserations. Those aspects will still be there, just hopefully matched by more writing.

Also, if the aforementioned blog doesn’t stop following me, I’ll have to take some sort of other action. I may just make another tumblr under a new email, I may delete this one, or I may just create a private other blog (which may or may not have a password on it) and then give that out to any of you who actually want it.

There are no cute couples. There are some couples that do actually have the odd, genuine, cute moment, but they are few and far between. Couples who attempt to be cute almost always fail to do so, instead coming across as sickeningly cloying. What usually passes for cute is a kind of forced sweetness which, while fairly standard practice in private between couples, does not translate well into the real world when others are around.

Therefore, I beseech those of you in relationships; don’t try to be cute. Don’t do it in photos, don’t do it when you talk, don’t do it ever. All it does is prevent you from being considered a cool couple - that is, one that the rest of us can actually enjoy being around.

So once more, I implore you, keep the embarrassing attempts at being ‘cute’ between yourselves, so that only you have to bear witness to the immense cringey-ness. This might lead to us actually wanting to be around both of you at the same time, and not wishing fervently that one or both of you were elsewhere.

(Just wanted to make clear: this is not about any one couple, more about my general contempt for the manner in which most people in relationships seem to act at the moment. Oh, and for those people who reblog endless photos of posing couples, or ship character relationships where all the ‘cute’ moments are so contrived it’s ridiculous.)

Reblogged from barbieclone

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
  • -----
  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
  • The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
  • Witness: "I forget."
  • Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
  • Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
  • Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
  • Witness: "Forty-five years."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
  • -----
  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
  • Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
  • Witness: "Yes sir."
  • Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
  • Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
  • Witness: "I could see his head."
  • Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
  • Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."
Reblogged from gifmovie

(Source: gifmovie, via fash-gash)

Reblogged from samaralex

This was done with a ballpoint motherfucking pen.

if that’s true, then wow - if not, it’s bloody good anyway


This was done with a ballpoint motherfucking pen.

if that’s true, then wow - if not, it’s bloody good anyway

(Source: juanfranciscocasas.com, via thelittlethieves)

Now, I’m gonna assume that by now you’ve learned the world’s not fair, and sometimes you get the short end, that’s all you get. And if you don’t do something personally to fix it, then that’s all you’re ever gonna get. Coach Gary Gaines, Friday Night Lights (2004)
Reblogged from man-and-camera

(Source: sh0guns, via nebulaeinmybrain)

big up to those of you still following me, that said, I doubt I’ll get back to posting regularly for at least a month and a half, so you’ve been forewarned

Reblogged from latinscientists
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Jim Rohn (via latinscientists)
I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot… and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why, I succeed. Michael Jordan
With the wild wolves around you;
In the morning I’ll call, you:
Send it farther on…
The Wolves (Act I and II), Bon Iver